Babes, Dolls, and Drugs by Anonymous

i am b\r/o\k/e\n.

Even though i cannot point out where

Cannot show you thepointsofcollision

I’m irreparable

You fished around inside my rib cage with harmless words, that goofy smile,

I should’ve known better, nothing had changed in those three years, But

It was some form of touch from you. Some sort of acknowledgment of my sexual being

So even when you sliced up a vein or three I smiled…

Drinking in the pain as opposed to [holding] my breathe

I had hoped you’d notice the |stillness| in my limbs

Hoped you’d notice the silence cradled in my mouth

The retreats from your touch

and your words

But you didn’t…and honestly how could you?

The silence was filled with your worries, dreams, grievances and goals

The space closed by your body cradled in mine, fingers intertwined and cheeks grazed with such soft lips

And you lost yourself

With me acting like a masturbatory doll, covered in your emotional ejaculant,  to carry your frustrations and make your own heart easier to bear

Even though I was usually 200 miles away with my comforting words, I left my body behind for you

Because you needed the space more than I did

So once you finished clawing & fishing around for your answers

I let you use the horrific (cavity) as your gloryhole of insecurities

Caring for others is something I’ve always done, even when it hurts

Im not interested in caring for my own soul, my hopes and doubts

I leave that to the guns handed to me

Oh so cleverly disguised as bottles, razors and blunts~

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